A Numb Body

Originally written Tuesday, November 22, 2005

With the temperature plummeting outside, Patrick asked the inevitable today. Can I regulate my bodily sensations? When will I teach him how? And if I can’t, then why the heck not?

It’s a perfectly reasonable line of questioning. We all wonder at some point about it. And a few educators do pass the information along, but we’re really not supposed to. I wasn’t taught it, even though it’s one of the easiest things to learn when you’re familiar with Grey Orchid techniques. But of course I gave him the same answer I received: “A numb body fosters a numb heart.” And a numb heart interferes with the part of our teachings we tend to take most for granted, compassion.

And so when I leave the house in 30 degree (Fahrenheit) weather without a scarf or a hat or something covering my ears, I suffer. It’s not like I’m going to get frostbite or anything. It’s just discomfort. And discomfort is tolerable.

I asked Trudy if she knew that guy Moshe from the dance. She said she’d never heard of him, but she’d keep an eye and ear out. She reminded me that it’s not as if she has any connections that I don’t have, and being newer to immortality she probably has fewer. While I suspected as much, I figured I may as well mention it to her. She’s also been in this area for longer, so she does have the hometown advantage. I’ve been thinking more about Saturday night, and I’ve been growing more concerned about the whole thing.

First, there’s his very brief presence at the dance. I was aware of him for exactly three songs: the one where I saw him watching me, the next one in which he danced with someone else, and the third one, which we danced together. Second, there’s the fact that he couldn’t dance, which suggests he was not there to dance but to watch. What he did during his short time there suggests he was there to watch me. Third, there’s no evidence that he attacked anyone coming out of the dance. Maybe I’m being self-centered. Or paranoid. But it was a very strange combination of events. I’ll have to ask Richard if he remembers anything about him when I see him next week.